Big and bland

Let me state straightaway that I think it’s great. I’m happy that a family of 10 has moved into a big, newish house on what looks like a huge tract of land. Since I already get TLC as part of my cable package and don’t have to pay extra to watch “Jon and Kate Plus 8,” they didn’t buy that home with any of my money, so, hey, mazel tov, Gosselins!

They are going to have to endure a whole lot of carping about how much they make per episode, how many comped vacations they accept and the ethics of inviting cameras into their children’s lives. All valid concerns, especially the one about how much they are exposing the children and how long they will continue to do so. As luck would have it, the best place to put up with sour grapes from strangers is your McMansion, so they’ve got that going for them.

There are entire Web sites full of sputtering commenters who can’t reconcile clipping coupons with buying a $1m+ house. I find the Gosselins’ example a powerful lesson in money management, patience and priorities. J&K obviously valued owning a 6000-square-foot home more than, say, eating dry-aged rib eyes once a week. They did what they had to do to provide what they felt their family needed most.

The fact that neither of the parents is employed in the traditional sense is … well, downright American. My wish for them would be that they can continue to promote their brand while phasing the kids out of the family biz. But that’s just me.

The mixed blessing of the house is pretty funny, though. Will that be the constant theme of the show from now on, Kate’s frustration of having to yell all over her huge house for her kids?

She could have just gone looking for them, but then who was going to clean that PUTRID refrigerator, the “most disgusting, vile” thing she had ever seen in her entire life? I couldn’t see any mold from where I was sitting, especially not any mold that would have taken four hours to remove. Kate wouldn’t be able to stomach an evening in my home, because sometimes there is lint on the carpet. Visible lint. ON THE CARPET WHERE I ALLOW MY DAUGHTER TO PLAY.

I don’t think I have much to worry about, because – and here is my real beef with the Gosselins of TV fame – Jon and Kate don’t seem to have friends or visit others’ homes or invite them to theirs or encourage their kids to socialize. Yeah, yeah, it’s an edited show and we only see a very carefully constructed version of the Gosselins’ life, and that includes making Kate look like a shrew and Jon a castrated house boy, but I think I’m safe in saying these people have no interests whatsoever.

Nothing. There’s never any hint that they enjoy music or engage in hobbies or follow a sports team or politicians or anything. (And no, working out on gym equipment does not count.) I’m sure I can’t imagine how all-consuming it is to raise eight children, but we never even hear about things they used to do. Hell, we do that constantly and we only have one child. OK, Jon got to snowboard in Park City, and that’s great. But it’s just not enough to save them from winning the title of America’s Most Boring Couple. Maybe they think the bickering is what makes them zesty.

I can put up with just about anything, but boring is just so unforgivable.

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