Friday Quickies

Taking my inspiration from the eloquent Jen F. of Conversion Diary, here are seven quick items – things found on and around the Internet you wouldn’t be able to face the weekend without knowing.

scene-from-sex-and-the-ci-001 1. I don’t know how many of y’all saw the “Sex and the City” movie last summer, but I’m still recovering from it. That bird thing Carrie wore on her head on her wedding day, Kristin Davis’ overacting, Kim Cattrall speaking and the sight of middle-aged women having all that exhibitionist sex.

My views about non-marital sex have changed as I’ve grown older and become a mother, but I know people are out there having sex and aren’t likely to stop doing so just because I am assimilating the teachings of a monotheistic religion. I appreciate the excitement and romance of a well-told love story and even enjoy a tastefully passionate scene of intimacy. (That translates into “I dig sex on screen, sometimes,” in case I wasn’t clear.) Remember “Cruel Intentions,” a sort of precursor to “Gossip Girl”? The scene where Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe consummate their teenage relationship is gorgeous. Their bodies are illuminated so beautifully their skin glows, like the love between them is coming from within. (Making it all the more sad that they’re now divorced. I like Jake Gyllenhaal, though. Have you noticed Reese likes guys whose last names have tricky spellings?)

My point is, I’m no prude when it comes to sex in the movies. But watching the “Sex and the City” ladies doing it in those “Let’s give the neighbors something to talk about, rrrraoww!” positions was yuck. And now we’re going to be subjected to it again. The sequel will begin shooting this summer and will be in theaters in 2010.

And by the way, I loved what Lauren Hutton said last year about the “SATC” franchise, that it is obviously written by gay sluts who think they understand women. I came late to the series and was surprised when I finally saw some episodes. Women and gay men might share an interest in fashion, but women do not talk like gay men.

If it weren’t for the gloriousness of Manhattan and the hard-to-score couture, “SATC” wouldn’t be much more than an episode of “The Real Housewives.” Do you think Carrie & crew will eschew their conspicuous consumption in these precarious financial times and take to wearing vintage they found on Freecycle?

2. In other movie news, Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman will star in an “artificial insemination comedy.” I don’t trust the guys who directed “Blades of Glory” to tell me what’s funny about infertility. The greatest thing infertility gave me, other than my daughter, was the friendship of so many hilariously genius bloggers. Infertile women know comedy like no others, and we’re a tough crowd. But, hey, good luck!

3. We even have more middle-aged women having sex today during Friday Quickies, this time with the president of the United States. Judith Warner writes on her New York Times blog about a steamy dream involving Barack Obama, and she’s not the only one.

I could recount the ways in which writers like Judith Warner – Caitlin Flanagan and Ayelet Waldman included – are mom writers moms love to hate, but I’d trade places with Warner in a heartbeat. (And not because of the Obama dream.)

4. SPEAKING of writers we love to … oh, nevermind. Dooce’s daughter has turned 5. That’s 60 months. Do you think there will be any more monthly newsletters? I jest, but anyone who carps about the way Heather counted Leta’s age in months is jealous that they didn’t take the time to write a monthly letter to her child.

5. Are you one of the 4 trillion people on the planet who has been tagged to do a “25 Random Things About Me” meme on Facebook? This meme is being written about as much as it’s being written. In the din of all the competing voices trying to be wry, I’ve only read one truly funny take on this dull phenomenon.

6. The age at which American women are having their first child has dropped. The reasons aren’t entirely clear, but it’s great that young women no longer believe motherhood is a decision they can put off indefinitely. That was a message too many women heeded, only to find heartache in the RE’s office. The shrill feminists will yap about how this is a dangerous trend and warn women about the hazards of not being utterly independent, but it’s time they’re served a hearty plate of STFU.

7. Miley Cyrus making fun of Asians and then blaming Britney Spears? Brilliant! That’ll be my new excuse for everything now, too. “No, I didn’t get around to making dinner. What, now that Britney’s all respectable again you need someone to pick on?” Think Tink will buy it?

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