11:55: I’m craving chicken tikka masala now.
11:53: Best picture – “Slumdog Millionaire.”
11:47: Steven Spielberg, bringing it home.
11:43: Best actor – Sean Penn.
(There was something so incongruous yet so right, to have Ben Kingsley pay tribute to Mickey Rourke.)
“You commie, homo-loving sons of guns!” Funny. But get off your soapbox, Spicoli. You cross the line from courageous actor to preachy blowhard awfully quick.
11:32: Best actress – Kate Winslet.
Hmmm. Truly gifted actress? Or pretty girl who has had amazing luck getting the right roles?
11:27: Sophia Loren, wowza! That is what a woman looks like. Even though the dress looks like it was borrowed from a madam at a circa-1870 Wild West brothel. And she sounds like she’s been nipping from the moonshine.
11:23: Hoookey. This is the point in the night at the newspaper where I’d start really sweating. I’d have been over to the art department dozens and dozens of times, giving them instructions about which photos to use, even going as far as to put together an alternate set and even a third-choice set, just in case someone did or didn’t win. Headline would have been written since 9 p.m. It’s damn near 11:30 and the three top awards are still to come. Deadline bearing down on me. AND THE SHOW TIPPY-TOES ON WITHOUT A CARE WHILE I PICK MY CUTICLES RAW.
11:20: Best director – Danny Boyle, “Slumdog.”
11:19: What’s wrong with Reese Witherspoon’s dress? Nonsymmetrical strap detail. Not good. She’s not the only one who has sported a dress like this. Who’s responsible for this trend? I realize there are only so many ways you can make a dress look new, but weird does not equal fresh.
11:12: Queen Latifah singing “I’ll Be Seeing You” during the “in memoriam” montage. Nice.
11:07: Best foreign film – “Departures” (Japan).
11:01: Original song – “Jai Ho,” “Slumdog.”
10:54: Original score – “Slumdog.”
10:53: Alicia Keys has on a stunning dress. It’s very va-voomy. She’s got a dewy glow, too. She should make sure LOTS of pictures are taken of her tonight. When hair, dress and makeup all cooperate so nicely, a girl has to make the most of it.
10:42: Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award – Jerry Lewis.
I know the current thinking in the disability community is that the Jerry Lewisization of how America treats the disabled is demeaning and offensive, but the guy has done more for others than just about anyone in Hollywood.
10:39: How lame am I that I’m looking forward to the clunkily titled “In the Motherhood,” I ask you? LAME-O. Oh, yes.
10:35: Film editing – “Slumdog.”
10:31: Sound mixing (do we really need separate sound mixing and sound editing categories?) – “Slumdog Millionaire.”
Best line from an acceptance speech yet: “This is history being handed to me.”
10:28: Sound editing – “The Dark Knight.”
10:26: Visual effects – “Benjamin Button.”
10:25: Montages! I gotta have more montages!
10:22: Did I just guffaw at that Jimmy Kimmel-Tom Cruise promo? I think I did!
10:17: Best documentary short – “Smile Pinki.”
10:16: Best documentary feature – “Man on Wire.” Don’t think I’ve ever seen Oscar-statue balancing or magic on an awards show.
10:15: Throwing Bill Maher (”Religulous”) a bone by letting him announce best documentary. He might be all kinds of clever but he’s just such a prick.
10:08: Best supporting actor – Aw. Heath Ledger. Hope Matilda is old enough to understand that her daddy won an award.
10:04: The assemblage of winners from yesteryear is weird. I like the tradition of last year’s winner doing the presenting. Quit fiddling with what works, Oscar folks.
PSH, what is with that hat? Got to be one of the worst Oscar looks ever.
Although … the long-ago winner speaking directly to this year’s nominee sitting there in the audience is rather touching and immediate. Perhaps I was hasty.
9:59: Hey, that Sandra Bullock-Ryan Reynolds movie, “The Proposal,” looks like it won’t entirely suck. Hmm!
9:58: Do all the musical numbers you want. On the TONY AWARDS.
9:54: I don’t get Hugh and Beyonce’s dance number. “You’re the One That I Want”/”All That Jazz”/”How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria”/”Lady Marmelade”? QUIT SINGING AND EXPLAIN IT TO ME. Now the “HSM” kids … and “Mama Mia.” What a mess.
9:50: Ooooh, so close. It was Elizabeth Marre. Nominated for live-action short for “Manon on the Asphalt.” I’ll be there someday. Oh, don’t you worry. When this blog is optioned for a movie and they finally add the Best Screenplay Adapted From a Mommyblog category.
9:48: Best live-action short – “Spielzeugland” (”Toyland”).
9:47: Was there someone named Elizabeth Barr nominated for best live-action short?? Why aren’t I there, dressed in gray or ivory? Hey, this hoodie I’m wearing is gray!
9:44: Oscar shouldn’t be afraid of humor. This “Pineapple Express” bit is gold. James Franco and Seth Rogen killed.
9:38: Jessica Biel, I’m thinking fondant. I’m thinking “Project Runway” challenge where ALL the fabric had to be used, so what was left was hastily tucked in front, shoved down the bosom, the designer hoping neither Michael Kors nor Nina Garcia mentions it. And I’m thinking, again with the gray/pearl/ivory shades.
9:35: Best cinematography – “Slumdog Millionaire.”
9:33: Natalie Portman looks fantastic. Maybe even more so because she’s one of the few actresses who embraced color.
9:32: Ben Stiller doing Joaquin Phoenix. He doesn’t even have to do a good job of this and it’s already funny.
9:24: Best makeup – “Benjamin Button.”
9:20: Best costume design – “The Duchess.” (Remember the costume designer who attended the Oscars in the American Express card dress? She’s the only costume designer anyone remembers. Except I don’t remember her name. Lizzy Something. … Lizzy Gardiner!)
9:17: Best art direction – “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.”
9:13: Frozen Thin Mints! Gotta eat them all by Ash Wednesday. Not a problem.
9:09: Best animated short – Where are these even shown? If they’re important enough to receive Oscars, why aren’t animated shorts shown at every theater in America?
9:07: Best animated feature – “Wall-E!” My daughter’s first movie in a movie theater!
9:03: Tina Fey and Jennifer Aniston both in silver. Tonight’s fashions could be summed up as: Sparkly but colorless.
9:01: Best adapted screenplay – “Slumdog Millionaire.”
8:59: Let’s just send Hugh home and let Tina and Steve take it from here.
8:57: Best original screenplay – “Milk.”
8:53: Tina Fey and Steve Martin – best moment so far. In fact, someone needs to write a movie for these two. IN FACT! They need to write a script for themselves to star in.
8:47: Best supporting actress – Penelope Cruz. It’s odd to thank different director (Pedro Almodovar) than the one whose work you’re being awarded for, no?
8:46: Goldie Hawn, put those things away. They’re old and no one wants to see them anymore.
8:43: Seems like an odd group of supporting actresses.
8:37: Hugh Jackman is working his tail off but he’s no Billy Crystal.
8:35: Anne changed! WHERE’S THE DRESS????? This one looks like an off-the-rack prom dress for $189.
8:27: That preshow was too rushed and choppy. Next year, give Tim Gunn an hour and give those other two the night off.
8:24: Seth Rogen and Jack Black at the bar. Where else would one expect to find them?
8:23: Oh, Marisa Tomei. No, no. The pleats! It’s like origami! (More gray. How does that happen organically, that so many Oscar ladies are wearing similar colors?) That train makes me want to pick a card, any card.
8:22: I like Penny Cruz’s dress, too. Very similar to SJP’s. Lots of white/ivory/gray tonight. Nothing wrong with that – it shows off the diamonds nicely.
8:20: Meryl Streep’s daughter is lovely. Nice dress, but it needs some bling.
8:16: Anne Hathaway’s Armani gown might be the most gorgeous dress I’ve ever seen at the Oscars. She’s Snow White, gorgeous.
8:15: God, Miley’s dress looks even worse close up. Like someone’s been bedazzling a head of lettuce. And then belted it.
8:12: OK, I think this Mickey Rourke grieving for Loki thing is a hoax, a la Joaquin Phoenix’s recent schtick.
8:11: I can’t wait to see these “Slumdog” kids on stage.
8:09: Does Mr. Valentino have a first name?
8:06: Miley’s been bedazzling!
8:05: SJP’s dress is ill-fitting. Boobage! Too bad, bc it’s one of those very ode-to-ballet gowns she wears so well. And did that whoever dude not know MB has been on Broadway before? Ever heard of “The Producers”?
8:04: Will anyone ever say to me, “Fashion salutes you!”? Probably not.
8:02: I get Tim Gunn. But Robin Roberts? She says gym teacher to me, not fashion maven.
8:01: Kate Winslet’s hair is very classic and Oscar-safe. So is the dress.
7:56: Hugh Jackman gives Baba a lap dance. I. don’t. have. words.
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