10 iPhone Apps I Wish Someone Would Create

I don’t have an iPhone or iTouch yet because I fail to see how it will improve my life in an immediate and direct way. I have no doubt I’d be entranced by the novelty of a simulated steamy bathroom mirror complete with a squeaking sounds when you rub the screen, but is this really going to make my life better?

But after reading Sunday’s New York Times story about how much coin is to be made in the building of apps, I figure everyone who has mastered texting will be looking for that next big idea, so here are a few they might want to consider. So please, geeks of America, no more apps involving GPS tracking. I have been finding my way back to my car in mall parking lots for years with out your help. Give me something I can really use, such as:

1. An app featuring narrated tours of celebrity closets. Preferably narrated by someone in her best golf-announcer voice.

2. An app that senses tics and bodily gestures and then, in your mother’s voice, tells you to stand up straight, push your hair away from your eyes, quit picking your cuticles, etc. The second generation of this app will be able to see what you’re wearing so she can ask you, “Is that what you’re wearing?”

3. An app that tracks sports events and then automatically gives you 5 suggestions for things to watch on the bedroom TV while your husband watches, say, the NCAA basketball championship in the living room.
(For example, tonight’s suggested options would be: the kickoff of Season 5 of “The Hills” at 10 on MTV – yeah, I plead guilty to knowing what Speidi is up to these days – Bob Sagat’s return to sitcoms on the premiere of “Surviving Suburbia” at 9:30 on ABC; the Beek! James Van Der Beek guesting on “Medium” at 10 on NBC; all about Pontius Pilate and whether he’s an ancestor of Joseph Pilates on “Who Really Killed Jesus?” at 10 on NGC; or Carnie Wilson’s premiere as host of a relaunched “Newlywed Game” at 10 on GSN. Not bad choices, all around!)

4. An app that, after you plug in a grocery store item, compares it against your recipes bookmarked on del.icio.us and then tells you which recipes you can make with that ingredient. Which is completely pragmatic and this app probably already exists. But the version I want then points you to nearby restaurants that serve those entrees so you can avoid cooking for the third time that week already.

5. An app akin to the ingredient app above, but for fashion. You enter the article of clothing and Stacy and Clinton approve or veto it based on a wardrobe scheme they design for you. Additional suggestions come in the form of links to the item online or Mapquest directions to a store that carries it.

6. An app that shows video of women receiving massages, pedicures, facials or having makeup applied by Bobbi Brown – complete with Buddhist Lite music – for when you need the relaxation but don’t have the time or money.

7. An app that’s a sort of keyword-specific blog reader and alerts you the moment that keyword is published so that you can take part in the blogosphere’s favorite drinking game – Do a shot every time Anna uses the word “blowhard.”

8. An app that downloads to your iTunes library a movie’s soundtrack as soon as you buy a movie ticket on a site such as Fandango. You could peruse the soundtrack free for 15 minutes after the movie has ended. Then you have the option of paying for the entire CD or picking and choosing individual songs. That way you can sing along on the way home and not lose that fresh-from-the-movies buzz.

9. An app that shuts down all of the iPhone’s groovy time wasters when you are on deadline or need to clock back in on mom duty instead of trying to eke out another 30 minutes of Twittering, checking to see if Julie will ever post again, playing Scrabble on Facebook, no creating great content! after your child has awoken from her nap.

10. An app that counts down to a big event, like a wedding, high school reunion or BlogHer, and lets you know how much weight you can reasonably lose by then and gives you a daily eating and workout plan to achieve that goal. For a July wedding, for example, you might be able to lose 12 pounds if you get started in March, but if you wait until May to get serious, you can only hope to lose 7 pounds.

COOL SERENDIPITOUS UPDATE: Trent Reznor has created a Nine Inch Nails app with backstage photos, music, videos and even message boards. To be available soon, and it looks like it’s free.

FURTHER UPDATE: Looks like it was rejected. Reznor says it’s all good.

 

Read the day’s other lists over at Anna’s:

Related posts:

1. Friday Quickies, Vol. 10
2. Friday Quickies, Vol. 7
3. 18 Celebrity Hunger Strikes

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Tagged as: Apple, cosmetics, grocery shopping, iPhone, iPod, iPod touch, recipes, soundtracks, technology, Trent Reznor