18 Celebrity Hunger Strikes

Beginning next Monday, actress and activist Mia Farrow will begin a hunger strike to turn the world’s attention to the plight of the people of Darfur. A hunger strike can be a powerful political tool. Just ask some of the other celebrities who have undertaken hunger strikes to spread the word about injustices personally affecting them.

[UPDATE: Farrow fasted for 12 days, stopping at the advice of her doctor. Richard Branson will be taking up the hunger strike.]

1. Suri Cruise. Being pre-verbal, it was the only way to convey to Tom and Katie that she resented the photo-op playdates with Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and the Beckham boys.
2. Oprah. Wanted her bestie to know just how unhappy she was when Gayle put crap on O’s side of the motel sink during one of their gal pal road trips.
3. George Clooney. Tried to get the UN or some other world-governing body to block easy-money commercials taped for foreign markets from ever being seen in the United States, lest serious actor/activists’ reputations take a hit.
4. Jessica Simpson. Blames the Fail! of her country music career on her father’s lack of inappropriate pimping. Will be laying off fried chicken until he goes back to talking about her boobs.
5. Those 21 polo ponies in Florida. They overheard a trip to Disney was in order if their team won. 
6. Isaac Mizrahi. It was the only way to get that coveted reality fashion show. It wasn’t at all difficult, Isaac says – he was nourished by the bile of his bitter jealousy of Tim Gunn.
7. Miley Cyrus. Couldn’t think of a better way to let her father know just how ridiculous that facial hair looks.
8. Lindsay Lohan. Refuses to eat until Samantha Ronson comes back to her. But that’s not all! She’ll continue the fast until Ronson takes that hat off.
9. Heidi Montag. While one would think Heidi’s No. 1 priority in life is to rectify that fake wedding nonsense, what in fact prompted her hunger strike was when that douchebag fiance of hers challenged @aplusk to a Twitter duel.
10. Russell Crowe. Didn’t like the New York Times comparing him to John Travolta.
11. Kathy Griffin. After a misunderstanding over a joke involving Clay Aiken, a Cher concert, Perez Hilton, Liberace and Tom Cruise, it was the only way to show the gays how much she really loves them.
12. Meghan McCain. Keeping the possibility of a hunger strike in reserve. In the meantime, she’s on a silence strike, vowing to talk incessantly until she gets her own TV show.
13. Lourdes Leon. In a teenage fit complete with door slamming, Lourdes announced she won’t eat until her mother agrees to take her to get her eyebrows waxed.
14. Marc Anthony. Has gone on a series of hunger strikes, asking Jennifer Lopez for “just one more month, cara mia” before announcing their divorce. 
15. Victoria Beckham. Something in the ’90s grabbed her attention. Was it a disease? Animal rights? Who can remember. Hasn’t eaten since.
16. Matthew McConaughey. Tried to protest, in vain, Camila Alves’ household rule that shirts must be worn at the dinner table.
17. LuAnn de Lesseps. Thought about a hunger strike to get her dry cleaner to call her the Countess, but the crisis was averted when she was finally able to persuade him using the “Maestro” episode of “Seinfeld” as an analogy.
18. Gwyneth Paltrow. Inexplicably, also wants to be called Countess.

Read the day’s other lists over at Anna’s:

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