What kind of idiot gets BANGS a week before BlogHer (or the week before anything, for that matter)? That would be me. I haven’t had bangs since I was a junior in high school. I was of the mind that the only females who look good with bangs are little Chinese girls and my own daughter doesn’t even have them. I cut people off when, right after telling me how adorable her hair cut is, they suggest I let it grow into a bob with bangs. (Thanks. I hadn’t ever considered that.) So what could have possessed me?
I’ve been letting my hair grow lately. It’s been coming along slowly because I had a bunch of layers to grow out, and my stylist kept trimming the length up to meet the layers. It’s now more than an inch past my jawbone with very little layering. I did have long, shallow (meaning not cut too far back) side-swept bangs. But there wasn’t much texture or dimension or … interest, I feared. Plus I was in bad need of highlights, and I should have remembered a crucial hair rule of thumb when one is vulnerable to experimenting (aka, doing something really stupid and impossible to correct quickly) – that nine times out of 10, fresh color alone is enough to fix whatever displeasure one is experiencing.
But along comes one of those “articles” on MSNBC asking if I have the right hair style for my face shape. A shudder ran through me. AM I ABOUT TO GO TO BLOGHER WITH THE WRONG HAIR STYLE FOR MY FACE SHAPE? I have a long, oval face; this is not news to me. But I clicked through to this Pulitzer-worthy beauty story. You know. Just to see if I was in the ballpark.
It would seem that to balance my face I should avoid adding height at the crown, try to add width to my style and by all means, get bangs cut post haste. I haven’t been doing the high crown thing for well over a decade, I don’t even want to know how I could go about adding width (Farrah wings?), but bangs didn’t seem so terrible. Especially with the accompanying photo of Tyra Banks, her fivehead cleverly obscured by face-framing bangs.
Hmmm. Very chic.
Then there was a photo of Reese Witherspoon with her wispy bangs. Even though Reese is a classic example (along with Scarlett Johansson) of the heart-shaped face, see how oooh la la she looks!
And in “The Devil Wears Prada,” when Anne Hathaway is transformed from a sad to fab, how is that achieved (other than with all the designer pieces the production crew could squeeze out of fashion houses as product placement)? You guessed it.
So, what, I don’t want to look like Tyra, Reese or Anne? I’d be nuts not to follow this advice.
But, you see, the problem is, I don’t have long hair. Or Tyra’s extensions. (Looks like Reese is sporting some there, too.) I have what best could be called a longish bob. I’m not trying to. I’d have more length, except we (it’s always a team effort, isn’t it, you and your stylist?) were growing out layers. So now I’m afraid I look like I’m trying to look like Anna Wintour.
And while, hey, I could look a whole lot worse, I don’t want anyone, fellow bloggers in particular, to think I want to look like a skeletal middle-aged pelt-wearing carnivore. Not that there’s any danger of me being mistaken for Wintour, even though our hair color is about the same. There’s the poundage, for one thing. The wardrobe’s another.
But if you happen to notice someone in Chicago who looks like a white, grownup version of a 7-year-old Asian child who dreams of looking like a dour British fashion editor, humor me and tell me how my bangs bring out my eyes. Or at the very least, refrain from asking what grade I’ll be going into this fall.
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Kerry 07.20.09 at 1:44 pm
Well, for what it’s worth, I love bangs, and I’m Norwegian, not Chinese. They really do bring out your eyes, and most people’s foreheads are not all that attractive. Also, if you’re always trying to push the envelope in terms of how long you can go without a brow wax, they’re a huge help.
Plus, my guess is that everyone at BlogHer is too worried about whether their own hair looks cute to even notice yours.
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